The
key
to a
successful
marriage
is
unselfishness.
If
you can put your spouse’s needs above your own, you are
on the right track. Having the desire to fulfill your
husband’s needs is in no way submitting yourself to an
inferior role as a wife. If you truly love your spouse, then
you want to make him happy, and these five things
generally make men happy — simple as that.
Every man’s needs are different; however, according to
Willard F. Harley Jr., most men have the same basic needs.
While each person is unique, these needs are what most
men pick on average.
Recreational companionship
My husband and I are a classic example of a couple with
hardly anything in common, especially when it comes to
hobbies. We enjoy doing our own things — which can be
good in a marriage. But when we spend time together doing
what he likes, it’s often a win-win. Spending the evening
golfing with my husband was never something I would have
chosen, but I ended up having a great time. In fact, it was
one of the best dates I have ever been on. Show your
husband you care about him by showing some interest in
his hobbies. He may even return the favor and spend the
day doing what you want to do!
s*xual fulfillment
This can be a touchy subject, but it’s an important one. One
thing my husband and I have learned is to never treat
intimacy like a game — to never withhold it as punishment.
Doing so only intensifies feelings of negativity and
resentment. Intimacy brings couples together better than
anything, and if it’s important to your husband, it needs to
be important to you. Whether or not marital intimacy is
special depends on the attitude and effort of those involved.
Admiration
In a healthy relationship, your husband is doing his part —
whether that’s having a career, going to school, staying
home with children, etc. Most of his actions may go
unnoticed. For example, my husband works 8-10 hours a
day, then spends his evenings going to school or doing
homework. You may not physically see how much your
husband does for your family every day, which can make
his efforts easier to forget — out of sight, out of mind.
Remember, as often as possible, show and tell your
husband how much you love and appreciate all he does for
you.
Domestic support
Domestic support involves the creation of a peaceful and
well-managed home environment. You and your husband
may share household chores and other home
responsibilities equally, or your husband may need you to
handle these responsibilities more often if he is busy
handling others. Again, in a healthy relationship, your
husband should be doing his part. If this is the case, fulfill
hubby’s needs by cooking meals, washing dishes, keeping
your home clean, etc.
An attractive spouse
As a wife of almost 12 years, I know how familiar and
comfortable wives can get with their husbands — which is
great. As a mother of four, I know how easy it is to stay in
my pajamas all day, how luxurious it is to wait and shower
when I actually have five minutes of privacy. Some days are
like that, and that’s OK, but don’t let this type of thing
become a habit. Put effort into making yourself attractive to
your spouse. If you don’t see your husband until he walks in
the door 30 seconds before dinnertime, schedule a few
minutes beforehand to freshen yourself up. I started doing
this a couple years ago and noticed a positive difference in
my husband’s mood when he came home. Bonus: it makes
me feel great, too.
Examining these five needs is a great way to look deeper
into your marriage to determine your husband’s individual
needs. Whether a marriage is in trouble or not, when
spouses fulfill each other’s needs, the marriage becomes
stronger.
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