Selfishness :
Honestly I don't get it ; I don't get some of our Nigerian brothers living abroad !
Let me get something straight ; you lived in abroad for lets say ten years , dated all the babes in abroad, for a reason best known to you ; you tell yourself that they are not good enough , which is ok . Now you cross all the seven seas , mountains , Atlantic oceans and went back to Nigeria to marry a girl !
Then after marriage , the same you , will turn around and say ,"am not bringing her to any abroad, make she stay for Nigeria, if she come abroad now she go begin open eye."
Brothers , Like Wetin una want ?
To start with , if you don't trust her enough to bring her over to wherever you are residing , so that you people can live together as a normal couple , save cost of running two homes , save transportation cost of going back and forth , then why did you bother to marry her in the first place ?
Mr Visiting husband ! So every now and down , you will go back home , shine her Congo , impregnant her , leave her and return to your base !
Now you expect her to carry the pregnancy alone , to be a married woman but living as single lady abi ?
Also , I bet You will probably start cheating on her with the same women you left to marry her in Nigeria, while you expect her to be faithful to you in Nigeria . Wow ! Who said one can't have it all ? Oga ! Head of the home !
For me , this is the height of selfishness from you as a man ! The height of someone wanting to eat their cake and have it too !
Secondly , the men that are scared to bring their wives abroad are those potential abusive and control freaks . As a guy , If you are sure of yourself , if your conscience is clear , if you know that you are going to treat her with dignity , love and respect, then there is nothing to be scared of , and it's that simple . So if you say I no dey bring her abroad , please go search yourself and the motive behind that statement .
My brothers in diaspora, nobody is asking you not to go back to Nigeria to marry , but if your intention is to marry and dump your wife in Nigeria because of your insecurities and selfishness , Biko respect yourself , be fair , be honest ,be humane and tell the babe the truth !
Tell her that you don't any intention of bringing her abroad, if she is cool with that type of marital arrangement then fine ; if she is not , she will waka !
Please stop marrying these babes based on pretense ! Remember that two can also play that game ! Remember that when you are holding someone on the ground, you are also holding yourself !
Nora Oma Patrick (c),2016.
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